$9.99

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Avatar Review

I’m literally just in the door from seeing Avatar and I think I’m going to make this a pretty short and straight forward review as there’s nothing that I’ll say that many other reviewers haven’t already touched on. I was lucky enough to see it in 3-D and it was absolutely stunning. It was hard to resist reaching out in a futile attempt to touch the realistic use of special effects. I have heard that seeing it in 2-D is a waste of time and money since this glorious epic is purpose built for the third dimension but I can’t really make a solid judgement on that front for obvious reasons.

Plot wise, it was alright. Of course, it could’ve been better but I think this is a movie for admiration of cinematography and beauty than a subversive storyline. I did find myself easily disregarding names of characters and locations due to being immersed in innovative visuals. The story wasn’t emotive enough to make me cry and I didn’t laugh a whole lot either but it did effectively get it’s point across and once again cinema made me see that humans are twats who, after destroying their own world, have decided to mess with someone else’s. Dancing with Wolves and Pocahontas let us coil in shame as we witnessed an account of how the Western world wounded (to say the least) the Native Americans, Schindler's List let us observe how we turned on our own Western lifestyles so tragically because of religious and cultural hate and now Avatar is a vision of how we will possibly treat races on other planets in the future. This movie, like many others past and to come, has successfully made me ashamed to be human.

In conclusion, this is a must see just because it is the dawning of another new age of cinema. It’s a ground breaking epic and it defiantly has a better plot than James Cameron’s last real blockbuster Titanic and let’s face it, I think a lot of people went to the cinema to see that just to see the fail boat sink. He’s constantly pushing the bar and I’m keen to see what’s next, no doubt, it will be very pretty to look at.

The Fourth Kind Review

What a disappointment. I’ve seen this movie weeks ago and it took me to now actually write down in coherent words how angry it made me. I saw the trailer a few times prior to actually seeing The Fourth Kind and it looked amazing. The idea of watching a documental re-enactment of paranormal events had me completely suckered in. I always fantasised about alien abduction theories and I was more than willing to be completely taken in by the suggestion that all this could be a reality. The whole advertisement campaign blatantly boasted that the whole story was backed up by actual archive footage, it all seemed pretty solid; that is, until all the lies are unfurled like a rug of heart breaking dissatisfaction. First, I think I should give you a background before I bitch about all that.

Our story is set in Nome, Alaska where since the 1960s people have been mysteriously disappearing. The FBI has, apparently, investigated the area and each case but no truth has ever been revealed; that is until Dr Abigail Tyler, a psychiatrist working in Nome tries to justify her alien abduction theories. Her husband was inexplicably murdered right beside her, in their bed. How she didn’t see a murderer and claimed it was an alien, I don’t know but I always thought extra terrestrials came in peace, not land down on your planet to spontaneously kill your spouse. E.T would be hanging his head in shame! I don’t want to give the whole game away but there are some individuals in the town that are patients of hers that see the same owl every night, suffer from insomnia and generally see terrible, terrible things that the audience never hear much about. Typical.

Now to the bitching. I believe that it’s very important that I should mention that upon doing a bit of research for this review I found out some very interesting information. Apparently a few American newspapers were trying to investigate the validly of their footage and case studies to find that apparently Universal attempted to deceive the public with fake articles online and fake obituaries to justify that everything they were telling us was basically real. There was no need! There are thousands of cases all over the world where people have claimed to have and alien encounter, could they not have based a movie loosely on that and tried to get some interviews and photos? Nah, that would obviously involve hard work.

I also thought the acting was pretty stale. It’s like all the actors knew they were going to regret starring in this movie a few months down the line. That, and Dr. Abigail Tyler was the most annoying person I’ve ever been forced to watch in my life. Thank god she’s fictional. She just whines the whole way through, even at the start when she just states her name, it sounds like she’s whinging. Also; that whole dead husband thing? Please, spare me. The characters mention it literally about 40 times even when it’s not necessary. Yeah, it’s bad times that he’s dead but does Bambi mention his mother as much after she’s basically shot in front of him? No? Then suck it up, no one cares, we just want to see aliens terrorising poor Alaskan folk.

The end was pretty annoying too. Rather than justifying the possible existence of extra terrestrials we’re just led to believe that Dr Tyler is a complete psycho that possibly killed her daughter without knowing it. Even her 10 or 12 year old son didn’t want anything to do with her then when the events were unfolding to years later when he was in his 20s. Small boys would lap up the idea of their little sisters being taken away by UFOs, it’s like a dream come true! But they had to make him dull too.

I will admit, the split screen perspective contrasting the ‘actual’ footage with the re-enactment was a great idea and it was probably the only thing that was keeping me interested. That, and the aliens that the audience couldn’t really see. Even the footage when down the path of realism and included the distortion a real UFO would create; great effect, but it made all the fun stuff harder to see and a bit frustrating. They were probably playing on the use of imagination and getting scared of what you can’t but potentially could see, like the famous shower scene in Psycho but if I really wanted to use my imagination I would’ve stayed at home with some crayons and A3 paper.

In conclusion, this whole affair should be approached with caution. Don’t go to see it expecting to be dazzled by a great story or awesome special effects, it won’t happen. If anything, watch it for the novelty and enjoy how it potentially could’ve been amazing. I can’t believe that they delivered The Fourth Kind so lazily especially when it looked so innovative. I hope that someone will pick up on this movie’s strengths and rejuvenate all the aspects that simple didn’t work. Learn from your mistakes and try again next time Olatunde Osunsanmi! You’ll direct something epic someday!

Gamer Review

I went to see Gamer a few weeks ago, and if I wasn't contented by having peanut m&ms in my popcorn I would have been greatly disappointed with my day out. I will admit, it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen but I'll still maintain that I wasn't too impressed.

Our story takes place the not to distant future where RPGs and life-simulation games have been taken one step further. Instead of controlling a computer animated character manually, humans now have the power to control other humans who work in these games via mind control. In the movie, the two main games, created by eccentric billionaire Ken Castle, are Society, a Sims based simulation and more importantly Slayers, a first person shooter maybe based on the Call of Duty franchise.

Right, every one seems to love Slayers and its main character Kable and they follow the game on screens all over the world like a TV show. It's like watching the Truman Show, but that had Jim Carrey, which obviously made it better. The characters in Slayers are actually convicted criminals and if they survive so many rounds of the game they win their freedom. No one has ever really come close to winning except for Kable, of course, who is controlled by an irritating teenage boy who is enjoying the popularity and benefits that have come from having power over Slayers' most famous and well loved character. Mr. Castle realises that soon, Kable will beat the game and have to be freed so he puts the scariest black guy I have ever seen; who happens to be Chris' dad in 'Everybody Hates Chris' into the game but the twist is; he's not being controlled and therefore has another advantage over Kable apart from being about 6 foot and built like four brick houses. At this point some group kick in and grant Kable and the boy the power to talk to each other and he begs the kid to let him control himself so he can escape the game and find his wife and daughter and round house Ken Castle.

The idea behind his movie was actually a very interesting one. Seeing the future where our world is obsessed with RPGs to this extent was pretty cool to see but I thought the actual movie was quite boring. It felt too long, despite only running for 95minites and I really didn't care about the characters or their situation. I really just couldn't emotionally connect with them and that?s usually pretty easy for me. The only thing that really kept me watching was Michael C Hall playing Ken Castle. I just loved how ridiculous and eccentric he was; in any other average movie I would have wanted him dead but since there was nothing really entertaining going on I held onto him for hope. I didn't have much hope if you can tell.

I wouldn't suggest that you'd pay a lot of money to see this movie but maybe you'd enjoy it if you're into brutal violence, partial nudity and an obese creepy guy getting off on playing Society looking for cyber. Well this is probably for you. Personally; I'll pass on ever seeing it again.